It’s not so much that I’m not myself as it is that I just don’t feel like myself. Why? Easy…because I’ve been extremely upset, since last night. It’s a long story, but it basically involves me getting into an “argument” with someone.

Basically, we were talking about something, and this person interjects with some information that doesn’t directly have anything to do with what I was initially talking about. I did listen to what this person had to say, but I also got back to the subject. I wasn’t rude or anything like that; however, this person got upset with me and all of a sudden stopped talking to me. I apologized, but by that time I was already a little upset, and just stayed silent (this all happened while driving somewhere). Then, when we arrived at our destination, this person was talking to me as if absolutely nothing happened! Then, since I wear my emotions on my sleeves, it was obvious that I was upset because I was silent. So, this person asks, “Are you mad?” Thank you, captain obvious! *sarcasm* -_-” I explained why I was mad, and I also explained that I was mainly mad because I apologized, but this person ignored that apology. I apologize again, after explaining why I was mad, but this person ignored my apology again!!

So, as we walked inside the place we went to, this person completely left me in the dust and went off. So, by that time I’d had it. I walked out of that place and just sat in my car. So, since that point I’ve been mad.

I haven’t been talking to anybody. When I’m really mad, I just can’t talk to anybody. I’m definitely not someone who can hide her feelings toward others and pretend that everything’s okay. I very much wear my heart on my sleeve, so when I feel sad, I’m sad, when I’m mad, I’m mad, and I am just not capable of masking my feelings. I’ve tried hiding my feelings so that I don’t bring anyone else down, but I feel so horrible inside, I almost feel disgusted with myself, and I feel like I’m lying to myself -that’s what I’m doing, essentially -lying to myself. I can’t lie to myself.

I’m very upset right now.

On the other hand, I wouldn’t want to end this blog on a “depressing” note.

It’s definitely been a bit since I’ve updated. Not much has happened, but I did start Summer school on Monday. I’ve had my good days and bad days this week…the bad has definitely outweighed the good, unfortunately.

I’m not expecting sympathy, empathy, consolation or anything like, “I hope things look up for you;” or “I hope your days get better;” or even, “Things will get better soon.” All of this will pass, I know..I’m very aware of that. However, since this is a blog, and since I have no need to lie about my feelings, I’m just going to write exactly how it is. I never write with the intention of receiving anything from anyone. Of course, this doesn’t mean that I don’t want to hear what any of you have to say; I’m just saying, please don’t state the obvious; doing such things would really not help ameliorate the situation. I’m cynical, I know.

I know I said that I wanted to end things on a lighter note, but, sorry, I wasn’t successful at doing such a thing. End.